I don't want to grow up so soon





I'd love to remain ignorant and carefree as I used to be -without having to make life-changing decisons and have responsibilities thrown into my lap so soon.



Why do we have to grow up so fast -so soon?



How I wish I could sprinkle on some dust and transport myself to that never-growing-up land and just stay there, leaving behind the messy pile of responsibilities and worries behind.



I don't think I should even be doing all this so soon. It's all happening too soon, it's become one big blur to me.







Dearest Cheryl & Jane,

Thank you so much for encouragement which I really needed these past few days/ past week.

Thank you so much for lending an ear and listening through my tears, worries and confusions aboutt the current alien situation I'm facing right now.

Thank you for offering advice and support when I needed it.

Thank you for being here when my problems overwhelmed me and I didn't know what to do or how to overcome it.

Thank you for just being the caring and loving people that you are.

Thank you for helping me to forget my troubles and worries by indulging with me in the much needed retail therapy.

Above all, thank you for being here for me when I needed it most.


I appreciate all this and I honestly could not ask for more.



To the bestie,

Thanks so much for understanding when others don't and perceive wrongly.




Dear God,

Please please help me perservere in these hard times and make the right decisions and choices which does not hurt anyone I love.



Dearest Jo&Jess, miss you guys loads. Jo, I miss how you were just a phone call away.

I'm too busy chasing dreams to face reality



Have you ever felt like you day dreamed too much?

That you were just dreaming and spending your precious time on that little act that will do you no good except allow you to escape the dreaded situation called reality for that few moments (hours for some of us, hehe -yes guilty, I am) whereby you just let your guard down and allow your heart and your desires to take over ?

Well, I've felt this way often -too often, in fact.

Those are the days whereby I feel as though everything just seems to whiz by. I get up, sit around procrastinating my work by devoiding my attention from it and to the wonderful land of day dreams and before I know it, the day is ending.

Yes, there were so many times whereby I battled with frustration at my horrible attention span and my obsession with day dreams as it has done me no good many a time. For example, delays in the completion of my assignments -which basically happens every freaking time, gosh knows why- or just the waste of a perfectly good and free day which I spent doing absolutely nothing productive. Then, I spend what's left of my day feeling crummy that I did nothing productive.

But, it is these little day dreams that keep em grounded and sane :) I'll admit, these few little moments I spend thinking wishfully - they are the little happy pills I pop which make my mundane and empty day seem slightly above average.

I know it seems like I'm ranting aimlessly, but I was just pondering over how much time I waste day-dreaming but after much contemplation, I've come to realised that these are what keeps me feeling hopeful when I'm having this awful day or when it all feels meaningless.

I day dream of when I'll be out holidaying with my sweeties who'll be leaving soon, when I'll be shopping or catching up with those who've left and about when he's coming back :)

I day dream of when I'll have my backpacking Euro-trip thingy with the bestie after we graduate. Oh, think about all the exciting places we'll visit! Itlay, Rome, wherever. . Of when I do visit her in the States the following year and the great Christmas and New Year's which we will hopefully be celebrating at Times Square. Oh, and visit the others who will also be studying in the States. Road trip! *hopeful grin*

And, of when I finally do get to Aussie.

I can't wait for all this.

Call me silly but it is these little things which keep me grounded and contented with my current mundane and increasingly empty life.